Monday, February 06, 2006
... with visions of bad beats running through his head.
I've never had a real problem with going on tilt. I get steamed once in a while when the cards are not running right for me, but it's usually short term. And always when I close out my tables and go off to do my own thing, I never think about my bad session again. Not yesterday though. I'm not sure what happened to me. I guess it's just a combination of the insane bad run of cards I had and running bad for a month and a half. There was really nothing I could have done yesterday other than not play.
I played somewhere around 900 hands before I finally gave up. During those 900 hands there were two separate "mouse chunking" incidents. Wireless mice and online poker do not go together. In my computer room, I have a Scarface picture on the wall that I won at a fair. On one hand, I lost a HUGE pot to a runner runner flush and I went off taking my mouse and actually aiming for my Scarface picture. Luckily I missed and my mouse hit the wall just below. Also, my mouse luckily didn't break. Good thing I'm not John Smoltz.
I let yesterday's session get too me too much. It carried over to when I bowled in a tournament last night. I just couldn't focus. All I could think of was the bad cards. Then when I got home, I played some more (like a dumbass), and more of the same happened. That carried over and affected my sleep. I had the hardest time getting to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, one of those hideous hands started streaming through my head. Once I finally got to sleep, I woke up 3 or 4 times to the tune of a bad beat dream.
I'm not so sure why yesterday bothered me so bad. I've had worse days. I was down almost 100BBs at one point. I did get it back to only lose 70BBs for the day though. I guess it's a combination of the pressure of this challenge, the month and a half long bad run, lack of sleep, and who knows what else.
I feel much better today after a good 3 hours sleep. I had told myself to take the day off today from poker. However, for some damn reason, I'm in the mood to play again. I'm not sure why either. I figured this challenge would burn me out on poker for a while. However, it's just fueled my craving to play even more.
There was some good that came out of yesterday though. In my ever advancing old age, I have been trying to keep a positive outlook on life and not let things bother me. If I do poorly in something, at least try to learn something.
For instance, on Saturday, in my big bowling tournament, I had such high hopes of winning some good money. I bowled good in the first 2 games, but just didnt' have any pin carry and didn't score well. However, on the 3-6 games, all the oil had burnt out on the lanes and I just haven't bowled those conditions very often. My scores dipped way down in games 3,4, and 5. However, in game 6, I went seeking some advice from a pro. The dry lanes were destroying me mentally. He noted how good I was throwing the ball, but just wasn't getting it over on the right side of the lane to give it a chance to break into the pocket. After a few pointers, I went out and bowled my best game of the tournament and it felt good.
So what good did I find in the yesterday's poker session? On the tough hands, where I got beat at the showdown or had to lay the hand down, I was 100% correct on my reads. These are just hands that I can confirm what my opponent had (whether he showed, or went to showdown with another opponent or something like that). It was scary. 100 fucking percent I knew what my opponent was holding. You'd think that would translate into a winning session? In all honesty it did. Making those reads saved me so many bets. So a 70BB losing session could have easily been 100 or even more.
I haven't decided whether I'm going to play tonight or not. If you would have asked me last night, it would have been an emphatic NO! However, I'm in the mood right now. Who knows how I'll feel this evening when I get home from work. I'm going to eat with my parents when I get off work, then I'm going home. I'll just "wing it" from there. I know I'll be tuned into GSN at 9:00 though to watch the High Stakes Poker. I love that shit.