Monday, August 29, 2005
Holy shit what a weekend:
Man o man. It's gonna take a few days to recover from that one. It all started on Friday evening about 4:40, my ride shows up at the office. I've got 20 more minutes! This was going to be a long 20 minutes. After what seemed like an eternity, it was then 4:45. Fuck it! I'm leaving now.
So off we go towards the wedding. We had no clue where we were going. I've lived in this state all my life and never heard of this place. Miraculously, we never get lost. My Magellan skills were once again right on target.
About the time we arrived to the church, they were getting ready to start the rehearsal. The groom to be met us outside and told us to come on in. They were going to run through everything twice and then hit the road. We pulled up a pew and checked out the activities. The only exciting thing was me pointing out the camel toe in the corner and me wanting to whip the shit out of a couple kids because their parents were too sorry to do it.
Once the rehearsal was over, it was party time. The wedding wasn't until Saturday at 4:30pm, so we had a decent little get together with the few people that were there. Beer started flowing around 8 or 9pm. Around that time, a couple WVU grads showed up. These guys are fucking pros when it comes to partying.
We kept things pretty laid back on Friday night. Everyone was staying in a cabins at a local campground. Our cabin was the largest and had about 20 beds. We hung out on the porch there and pretty much just drank and talked the night away. There was a TV with a digital cable box (not sure if it worked). The time on it said 9:45. A couple people said they were going to bed. I'm like what the fuck?! It's not even 10:00 yet? I was informed that it was 3:30am. Shit.
That night I hit the sack. These beds sucked. They had metal frames and were VERY small. My feet hung over the end and I fell out one time just trying to turn over. Someone got up in the middle of the night and turned the fucking heat on. I could have killed them. I woke up about 7:00am in a pool of sweat. Fuck it, I crawled out of bed.
Surprisingly some of the girls were already up getting things ready for the wedding. I went to the couch and talked to them for a while. Next thing I knew, I dozed off on the couch and woke back up at around 9:30.
We ate some scrumptions cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then the first order of business was to get the kegs. The groom to be and I hop in the truck and head to the store. We stop at a gas station. This is where we are getting the kegs. I've never heard of such shit.
You would not believe the looks you get when you're carrying to kegs out of the store at 10:30 in the morning. We took the kegs back to the reception hall at the camp. There was another cookout thing going on at the time with a different group of people. I had to fight off the beer vultures with a stick on the way in.
We spent the rest of the day nursing hangovers and helping get things ready for the wedding and reception. I had a deck of cards and couldn't talk any of those punks into a heads up freezout.
We made our way to the chuch. This church is in the sticks. We had to get on a gravel road and then drive another 5 miles to get to the church. I was looking at the attendance board for the past 2 weeks. Last week's attendance: 3, week before: 5. Wow. The other 2 people must have gotten lost on the way home last week.
The wedding went well. Nobody objected. The bride and groom kissed. Shit it's party time again.
Back to the reception hall we went. Upon arrival we were told that we had to leave at 12:00am because there were other cabins and people were trying to sleep. We figured we could just take the kegs back to the cabin when they made us leave.
A couple hours later, there was no need to carry the kegs back. However, there was a need to go on a beer run. We found 1 sober person out of about the 60 people remaining to go to the store. Party on!
Around 11:30 pm, I notice a state trooper at the reception. People were getting nervous. Upon further inspection, he was a guy from our home town and a friend with a couple guys at the reception. Party still on!
Also at 11:30, the DJ announce that he had to pack his shit and get out before 12:00. Bullshit, he was paid till 12:00. A quick rub of his head in a girls boob's and the music started backup.
Around 1:00am, we decide to vacate the building and head towards the pool. Of course the gate was locked to the pool. That didn't stop us. I can't go into all the details because I want to protect the guilty. However, I'll leave you with a few keywords. Tits, Ass, Beer, Tits, Ass.
During the swimming session, the state trooper left and decided to scare the shit out of some people. He hit his lights and siren as he drove by the pool. It was priceless to see the look on everyone's face as they made a mad dash towards their clothes.
So after some bitching about the water being too cold, we take the party back to the cabin. Where we spent the rest of the night cussing, smoking, drinking, etc.
I can honestly say this weekend was one of the best times I've had in quite a while. I just turned 28 last week. The past weekend made me feel like I was 17 again. It was a hellacious good time. I met some very nice people too. Most of them were WVU grads which put them higher on my list to begin with. One of them had the quote of the weekend, but I'm sure he doesn't remember saying it:
"I've been a lot of places and seen a lot of things, but I've never seen what I think we're getting ready to see without paying for it."