Monday, January 16, 2006
Everywhere I go people annoy the shit out of me. It always seems like everyone is looking out for #1 and piss on the rest of the world. It's all about me me me. Did I miss the memo that says you have to be an asshole these days?
The majority of the annoying people I see are on the road. I spend a lot of time driving. I have about a 90-100 mile per day round trip commute with my job. I also travel a bit due to my job. So many drivers are certified pricks out there. I'm usually filled with road rage on a daily basis. The ones that really get on my nerves are the assholes that can't decide whether they want to drive 90mph or 50mph. They are usually on a cell phone paying no attention to the world outside their vehicle. I'm a cruise control guy. I set my cruise on 75mph. So I'm going a constant rate of speed regardless of whether it's uphill or downhill.
The other drivers that I wish I had a license to kill are the ones that think just because the sign says "Right lane closed 500 feet" means they got another 499.999 feet to pass cars. Because heaven forbid they lose those precious 3 seconds stuck behind us lowly safe drivers.
I could go on and on about drivers being dick heads, but you've all been there. Just heed my advice, use your cruise control on the interstate. If you want to haul ass down the road, go ahead, but for the love of God, be consistent! If you're going to drive slow, keep your ass in the right hand lane. The left lane is for passing, not for getting in my fucking way.
Another place that people get on my nerves is the shopping centers. Now, that I'm bacheloring it up on my own, I go grocery shopping about once every week or 2. My frequency has died down lately because of my hatred for putting up with the hassle of shopping. Old ladies are the worst. They have to look through every carton of milk to find the one with the ultimate expiration date, therefore making you wait. Keep your nasty paws off my milk please.
Another group of shoppers that annoy me are the people that decide to congregate in the middle of an aisle and discuss the fuckin' weather, politics, or the old chick with the nice ass bent over checking all the milk expiration dates. It gets horrible around Christmas time. If you're gonna chit chat, at least move to an open part of the store. Get out of my damn way.
I can't remember the last time I went 24 hours without another person irritating the shit out of me. This list is endless:
o The chick at the drive-thru that decides she's going to order $60 worth of food (usually buying lunch for the office)
o The people at the bowling alley that go outside to smoke and stand directly in the doorway so everyone has to walk around them
o The high maintenance customer that feels for whatever reason that they are more special than the rest even though they paid the same amount of money as another customer which never calls.
o Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd
o The whiney brat at the poker table who is so superb at poker that this was the first bad beat he's had in his life
o The 14 year old girls at the mall that dress like hookers and smoke just to be cool (at least inhale)
o Telemarketers and spammers
o The nosey neighbors
o The cocksuckers at the restaraunts who can't go 30 minutes without talking on the cell phone
o TV Journalists that pretend like they care (i.e. Katie Kourek and Matt Louer...sp?)
o The people that will hold up traffic and wait for 5 minutes for the other car to pull out of the parking spot, just so they don't have to walk that extra 20 feet.
o The COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING SUPPOSED MILLIONAIRE THAT OWES ME $425, but calls me wanting to sell me a cell phone. People close to me know who I'm talking about. Fuck you!
If I sit here and think about it, I could probably make a list a mile long of people that irritate me. It's a shame too. I'm not sure if I'm just getting old or what, but it seems to get worse every year. Everyone is all caught up in themselves. I try to take at least a few minutes out of my day to think about others. It's a good habit to get into. Also, have respect for other people. You'll find, you get treated better by those same people in the long run. When you go into a public place, turn off your cell phone. If someone says "Excuse me", take the hint and get the fuck out of the way. For long time assholes that want to convert to being good folk, follow these tips and you'll be ok. 1.) Take at least 1 shower every day and brush your teeth, 2.) Learn the terms "Excuse Me", "Please", and "Thank you". That's it. The world would be 10 times better if everyone would follow those 2 simple rules.
It's getting so bad, in fact, that I just avoid places where I have to interact with other people. Some may think I'm a social misfit or something like that. This isn't true. I have plenty of good friends and most of them feel the same way I do. Those who don't, still respect my opinion and I respect theirs. This is how the world should be folks. Slow down, yet move at a steady pace.
Just some insight into my brain.